They say you should always trust actions instead of words. But I don’t think this applies 100% of the time.
Have you ever done something you regretted later? Have you ever taked bad decisions? Have you ever done things to hide what you really think? Or feel?
“Don’t trust their words, trust their actions, because they will show you why words are meaningless.”
Yeah right, because actions can’t be meaningless too.
Some people have a really bad idea of themselves, and they portray themselves as something entirely different from what they really are. This goes both ways. There’s people who preach about being super cool, when they are not. Some people say they are the worst, and they are not.
And then there’s people who seem super cool, but they warn you, first thing, they are not. It can take you a long time to figure out what they’re talking about. Until you finally realise you should have trusted their words first.
But we are not black or white, we are human beings, which means we have tons of shades.
Some people can’t see themselves clearly. Most of us can’t. We have many blind spots where we lose ourselves. The best thing we can do is try to be honest with ourselves first, so we can be honest with the world later. Easier said than done.
I am one of those who warns the people around me. The closest to me get it worse, because I try to let them see my worst sides, so if they stay, it’s because they really like me. Honesty can be brutal. It can break someone in so many ways, into so many little pieces. But it’s the best we can do.
It can break you. Being brutally honest with yourself is one of the hardest tasks you can manage. Not only is it difficult, but it’s heartbreaking, not to mention scary. It’s exhausting. But it’s something we must all do, if we are trying to learn anything about our existence.
We have to try and look into all the dark rooms in our minds and hearts, look at the darkness straight into the eyes and say: I see you. Only then can you own it, before it owns you. Only then can you avoid breaking yourself and others through lies, it doesn’t matter if it’s words or actions.
The more honest you are with yourself, the more honest you can be with the world, and the closest will your words be to your actions.
Actions lie too.
If you don’t even know yourself, if you don’t know who you are, how do you expect your actions will define you? If you are scared of who you are, of how you think and feel, how will you act according to your words?
And as I said, this goes both ways. Chances are you will meet someone who has made awful decisions in their life, but they turn out to be amazing human beings. These are the ones that learn from their experiences. Keep them around. You might learn a lot too
Sometimes words do tell you the truth first.
If you meet someone who wears warnings all over, trust their words. Also these people tend to be some kind of wonderful, just because they have managed the honesty part. But then again this doesn’t mean they are entirely as bad as they think they are.
You have see a person as a whole. Not just their actions and not just their words. Everything they do and say, is telling you something about themselves. The contradiction tells you something, and the lack of it tells you something too.
We love honesty, but no one is that good at it. So before you ask the world to be honest with you, look yourself in a mirror and be honest with yourself first.
Have the courage to accept who you are, with all your flaws, your weird psycho thoughts, your stupidly intense emotions. Be brave enough to explore yourself so it can’t surprise you, don’t let the darkness use you just because you don’t know it’s there. Trust in your light. And trust the light of others.
We all have some darkness.
And that is beautiful too.